Wednesday, 3 May 2017

How Do I Change My Divorce Decree?

How Do I Change My Divorce Decree?

A client asked me after we finished his case, how do I change my divorce decree?

As soon as the court enters a decree of divorce, it might be changed only if you can show that there has actually been a considerable as well as material change in circumstances from the time the decree of divorce was entered.

What is a Substantial Change in Circumstances?

Think for a huge adjustment in one party’s income, or the fact that one party moves from the Utah to California.

This is a substantial change in

Once the court finds that there is a significant change in conditions, then it has to establish exactly what the order needs to be. When a court looks at changing child custody for example, the court will constantly base its decision on the best interest of the kids. You’ve heard of the best interests of the child standard – that still applies here. In case of a substantial change, you need to file a petition to modify decree of divorce with the court. There is a filing fee and then a summons is issued and your ex is served with the modification petition.

It is very similar to staring your divorce case all over again.

If you need help modifying or changing your divorce decree, please give us a call.

Ascent Law LLC
8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C
West Jordan, Utah
84088 United States

Telephone: (801) 676-5507
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Monday, 24 April 2017

How to File For Divorce in Utah – Call 801-676-5507

How to File For Divorce in Utah

This video explains in detail how to file for divorce in Utah:

After you watch it, please read the aricle below about

Tips for Parents When Traveling with Kids

Single parents have a tough role balancing their time between work and home duties as a mother and father. Sometimes single parents need to travel for business trips or even for vacation and bonding moments with their children.
What to bring during travel trips? It is advised for single parents traveling with an infant to pack not more than one suitcase. Better pack your child clothing inside your own suitcase because you are still carrying your baby’s car seat and strollers only by yourself or you can accompany a nanny for convenience for every trip only.
Single parents traveling with their children should ride a train as much as possible. Children love trains. These are the best form of travel: either you ride a plane, train or car. Think of any activities that will capture the interest of your child. You can bring along their favorite toys too.
Better be early when traveling especially for single parents to avoid fighting with other passengers. Your child needs to be comfortable and being early on your trip will make them relax.
Bring along kiddie meals, spoon and dish and small container of milk and juices that will suit the taste of your children. They may not like the food offered on the plane. Medicines are very important for every single parent traveling with kids. Single parent should know all about sickness that can affect your children during trips or better consult your pediatrician before traveling.
Best destination when traveling with kids – Kids love adventure and they will love you more if you will participate in their adventures. This is the chance for single parents to travel with their kids during holidays for having fun with them. You may frequent your trip to unwind your self for the heavy roles you are doing as a single parent.
Single parents traveling with their kids in Disneyland, wherever Disneyland you may bring them, it does not matter. All that matters to them is the fun and laughter. They may enjoy themselves with the cartoon character like Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck. There are also play areas design for toddlers and kids.
Single parents traveling with their kids but with a minimal budget can bring their child in a zoo. Kids especially toddlers like animals. Even in television, they imitate their sounds and behavior of animals. Treating your kids even with a small budget will be a lot of fun.
Children also love beaches and water. Swimming gives great delight to your kids. They love swimming and playing and building castle made by the sand. It is important for your child to have an activity that will make them busy and worthy on your every trip.

Problems facing by single parents during travel.

Single parents traveling with their kid usually face various problems especially for a divorcee or separated single parents. Single parents traveling with kids should make a habit of bringing along their legal documents whenever you travel inside or outside the country.
Single parents traveling with kids local destination needs only less legal documents than traveling abroad. You may contact your tour agent to check all the requirements before traveling. Because you are only traveling on your own country, you are probably more particular of the laws and requirements when traveling.
Single parents traveling with their kids outside the country require a passport for the kids and the parent itself. Many countries not only requires a passport but still need some additional legal documentation such as death certificate if case of death of other parent, court order of sole custody and permission or notarized Affidavit of Consent from the other parent to prevent the other of kidnapping their children.
For those single parents who are traveling with their kids outside the country, they need to arrange their travel beforehand. You may call the consulate to double check the documentation requirement of your country of destination. Try to be friendly with the consulate of the country of destination and tell them your situation to ensure that you will have a smooth travel. Many countries today require a visa before entering their country in order to assist their visitor properly. Single parents should indicate the duration of your visit, purpose of your travel, country of origin and how you are entering the country destination if it is either on land, sea or air.
After single parents contacted the consulate of the country, they must also coordinate to their travel agent, airline, or cruise line where their travel has been booked. Do not hesitate to tell them your arrangement with the consulate of the country of your destination and your situation as a single parent.

Ascent Law LLC
8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C
West Jordan, Utah
84088 United States
Telephone: (801) 876-5875

Ascent Law, LLC

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Thursday, 20 April 2017

Divorce Lawyer in Salt Lake City Utah

Utah Divorce Lawyer Mike Anderson

Divorce Lawyer in Salt Lake City Utah

Kids of Numerous Ages will certainly Handle Separation and Divorce In different ways

Some minors are so young when their parents divorce that they do not ever remember them being together. Other kids are old enough to remember what happened in exact detail. These kids will remember just what they were doing when they learned about it and also just how it influenced them. It is essential for parents to comprehend that children of different ages will deal with divorce in a different way. It’s also vital that the parents make absolutely certain that the children know that it is not the child’s fault – because oftentimes kids will believe if they did something different or better, the child could have prevented the divorce.

The truth is, if you are getting a divorce, legal separation, or are going to split with the other parent of your kids, you need to prepare each of your children so that they understand what is going on. For some kids it is nothing more than understanding that their dad will not be living in the very same home with them. For others it is a full adjustment of life from the way they have always understood it. On top of every one of that, children of the exact same age will likewise consider the separation process in different ways.

Comprehending the feelings and emotions of your kids as well as exactly how they associate with a separation is exceptionally vital. Really kids, even those that typically aren’t old adequate to talk yet can understand the emotions of individuals. They could commonly determine problems such as tension, stress, and they absolutely know when their moms and dads are disturbed. You can see it in their faces. It is trauma for them.

As an outcome of this their own habits could transform. They may cling to one or both of their moms and dads. They may not want to go to complete strangers. Temper tantrums as well as fits and crying are common. A little one could display modifications in their consuming and resting patterns as well. I’ve even see kids pee their pants or poop in their pants during school (and of course they are potty trained) in order to get more attention or try and get mom and dad back together.

Kids from about three years of age to around five will certainly be able to verbalize some questions regarding the separation. They will see that the various other individual isn’t really around like they used to be. They might posture concerns such as why the various other parent doesn’t most likely to the park with them or whey they live someplace else.

Kids that are from the age of 6 to about 11 will likely recognize a kid like them who has divorced moms and dads. They will likely know exactly what the term indicates. They probably even know about step brothers and step sisters because of the kids they hang out with at school. Nevertheless, that doesn’t suggest they are going to readily accept it and be okay. Wait for some changes in their actions in addition to some really challenging questions from this age group.

Displaying signs of rage are very common with this age group as well because they just don’t understand how to process their feelings. They may lack the abilities to efficiently be able to manage what has actually been taking place. Do your best to chat with them about it. Also, if they typically aren’t sure just what they are really feeling or why, be there for them and comfort them. Above all – let each kid know that you love them and support them. Now is not a time to be selfish with your kids. Now is the time to show each child more love than before. Make sure you go to their dance recitals, band performances, or soccer games. Don’t just tell your kids that you love them, show your kids that you love them by being involved and interested in their lives.

Older children that are from twelve and up often comprehend more concerning separation and divorce than any other age group. They could criticize themselves or try to locate even more detailed responses as to what was occurring. Chances are that this older age group was well aware of some problems in the marital relationship prior to the announcement of the separation came up. These kids also might try to get mom and dad back together (even though this is more common in the younger age group).

It is typical for children in this age group to be mad at one parent as well as to intend to be a caregiver for the various other. Try to get your kid to see both mom and dad as good people. Do your best to say good things about the other parent because you do want that child to have another actively involved parent in their life. If you could offer a joint front regarding the divorce and also caring for the children though it all, you will find that it will be a lot easier for them to do so as well. Children don’t need to be your confidante when it comes to the separation. Rely on an additional grownup for somebody to pay attention or to a professional therapist. You don’t want to complain to your child about the other parent. That is not good and it could hurt you in your divorce or separation case. Once your child is over 18; then you can treat him or her like an adult. Until then, he or she is your child.

Kids of different ages will manage separation in different ways and both moms and dads have to understand it. This is most likely to be a big adjustment for every individual involved in the divorce or separation case. Grownups need to handle their own emotions though so that they concentrate their energy on fulfilling their responsibilities to their kids.

Exactly how you approach this with your kids during the divorce process is likely to influence them for the remainder of their lives — so keep that in mind as you work hard to have a relationship with your ex-spouse on some degree. Even if it is nothing more than a hi and goodbye when you exchange the children during visits — the kids will observe it and know how you treat mom or dad. It’s best to be on your best behavior, even if your ex doesn’t deserve it. Take the higher road and you’ll be thankful later.

Utah Divorce Lawyer

Ascent Law LLC
8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C
West Jordan, Utah
84088 United States

Telephone: (801) 676-5506

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Wednesday, 19 April 2017

Divorce Lawyer – Where are divorce records filed?

Where are divorce records filed?

In Utah, divorce records are kept and maintained in the District Courts.  In Utah there are 8 total district courts.  There is the 1st District, which includes Box Elder County, Cache County and Rich County.  The 2nd District, which encompasses Davis County, Morgan County, and Weber County.  The 3rd District is the largest because it includes Salt Lake County, Summit County and Tooele County.  The 4th District is likely the second largest with Juab County, Millard County, Utah County and Wasatch County.  The 5th District Court includes Beaver County, Iron County, and Washington County.  Washington County has St. George, so it may be right up with the 4th District Court.  The 6th District Courts are in Garfield County, Kane County, Piute County, Sanpete County, Sevier County and Wayne County.  The 7th District Court has Carbon County, Emery County, Grand County and San Juan County.  Finally, the last district is the 8th District Courts with Daggett County, Duchesne County and Uintah County.

With the current abilities of the internet and all of the District Courts in Utah requiring electronic filing for all attorneys, the courts are now somewhat interconnected.  This means that if you wanted to get divorce records for your case and your case is in Provo, Utah and you are working in Salt Lake City, Utah; then you could go to the downtown Matheson Courthouse in Salt Lake City and the clerk at that court could pull documents or pleadings from your divorce case in Provo, Utah.

You file for divorce in the county in which you have resided in for at least three months prior to filing your divorce case.  If you have minor children, you need to file in the county where your minor children have been living for the 6 months prior to filing the divorce case.  Each county has an appropriate District Court where you would file your petition for divorce in Utah.

If you need help finding divorce records in Utah, give us a call for help 801-676-5506.

Where is divorce court located?

There are many different divorce court locations in the State of Utah.  The appropriate court for you is where your case has been filed.  For the majority of Utahns, their case will be in the Third, Fourth or Fifth district courts because the majority of people in Utah live in Salt Lake County, Utah County, or Washington County.

I suggest that you speak with a divorce lawyer about where your divorce court is located so that you go to the right place for your court hearing.  If you are filing documents on your own, it is a really good idea to call the court clerk to make sure you have the correct address and are going to the right location.  I can tell you that if you are going to a Justice Court in Utah, you are going to the wrong place.  The justice courts in Utah do not have the jurisdiction to decide a divorce case.  There are many more Justice Courts in Utah than District Courts.  Justice Courts handle class B and class C misdemeanor crimes, traffic offenses, and small claims court or claims less than $10,000 with monetary damages only.

The main address for the Third District Court – Salt Lake Department is 450 South State Street, Salt Lake City, Utah.  The Third District Court – West Jordan Department is at 8080 South Redwood Road, West Jordan, Utah.  In Utah County, the Fourth District Court – Provo Department is at 125 North 100 West, Provo, Utah 84601.

The Administrative Office of the Courts maintains a website which has the listings for all state courts (not federal courts or immigration courts) and that website is:

https://www.utcourts.gov/directory/

From this website directly, you can search and hopefully locate the right divorce court for you.

If you need assistance to find the correct Utah court to file your divorce case, give us a call 801-676-5506.

Where is divorce court taped?

In some courts, there is what is regularly called a court reporter or a stenographer.  A stenographer is a person who types down everything that is being said during a court hearing.  In Utah, the District Courts and Justice Courts no longer have stenographers.  Instead, they use digital audio and video recording equipment.  All of the equipment is located at the courthouse where the recording takes place.  Not all of the recording systems are the same, but most courts seem to use a similar system.  I was at the Smithfield Justice Court for a client once a few years ago and the recording equipment there was much different than what you see at the Third District Court, Salt Lake Courthouse.  What is important is that if you need to get a copy of the audio or video recording you can do so.  Each courthouse has a court clerk that you can call.  You usually need to fill out a written form to request the recording.  The recording is provided on CD or compact disc.  The cost is usually $10 but it can be more if the clerk cannot put the entire audio on the CD.  If the court has to mail the CD to you, it will also cost more money.  Usually the CDs are ready in a day or two and then you can stop by the courthouse and pick them up.  Keep in mind that although divorce records are private and parts of the divorce case is public – meaning the fact that you are divorced can be discovered by anyone looking – unless you are a party to the divorce case or the attorney representing the party, you will not be able to get it because it is a private proceeding.

When you need help your divorce, call us at 801-676-5506.

Where are divorce records kept?

Divorce records in the State of Utah are kept on computer systems and servers.  Long gone now are the days when paper court files exist in Utah.  I am sure that in other states, like California for example, paper court files still exist – but that is no longer the case in Utah.  All District Court records are digital files on computers.  For this reason, you should be able to go to any district court and obtain the divorce record that you seek.  If for whatever reason the district court that you are at does not have the information or the record; then, the worst case scenario is that you would have to go to the court were you got divorced to get it.  I find that to be rare and since the divorce court has gone digital in Utah – I’ve never had a problem getting any divorce record digitally.

Divorce in Utah

Ascent Law LLC
8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C
West Jordan, Utah
84088 United States
Telephone: (801) 876-5875

Ascent Law, LLC

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Monday, 10 April 2017

Riverton 84065 Salt Lake Co. UT divorce lawyer consultation cost

Family Law - Filing For a Divorce When Your Spouse Doesn't Want One

utah divorce attorney free consultation

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When you need to Protect your Children from a Parent after a Divorce

It can be difficult to decide to get a divorce when you are afraid of what will be going on with your children when they are out of your sight. Sometimes it is unfounded fear that has to do with control issues. Other times though it has to do with the history of the other parent that has lead up to the divorce.

If a parent has problems with alcohol or drug abuse the children may be in danger. There is enough evidence to suggest that the behaviors of such individuals are often unpredictable. A history of violent behavior is another reason to try to keep the children from being alone with that parent. Even if the children were never physically harmed, they may have witnessed such behavior or been emotionally abused.

Sexual abuse is a complaint that can come up as well. This is even harder to prove as many parents claim it as a ploy to prevent children from leaving. It has been proven false in enough cases to make judges weary. Yet sexual abuse on children at the hands of their own parents does happen. Make sure you follow the legal advice of your attorney if you have such claims to bring up in order to protect your children from further abuse.

It is very important that you have as much information documented as you can. While you don't necessary want to drag your spouse through the mud you have every right to protect your children. You may have documents on file with the local police department. Yet many people don't report such incidents and so they may not be there.

Document witnesses though that may have seen what was taking place. Neighbors may have seen arguments, friends may have seen bruises, and your doctor may have information on file as well. Keep in mind that the courts may view a great deal of the information like this you bring in as hearsay but do what you can to get them to see the relevance of it.

If nothing else they may order an evaluation of both parents. This way they can get an expert opinion about the mental well being of the individuals. These assessments are in place to look for patterns of behavior that may not be good for children to be exposed to. The court is often in a difficult position though. On one hand they don't want to prevent children from seeing a parent due to the stories of the other. However, they definitely don't want to place children into the hands of a person who is going to cause them harm.

The court may rule that there isn't enough evidence to prove the parent shouldn't be alone with the children. They may decide that parenting classes as well as anger management or drug/alcohol treatment must be completed before they can be alone with the children. The court also has the right to initiate only supervised visitations for that parent.

If you feel your children are in danger at the hands of the other parent though you need to speak up. We read too many cases these days of children being abused, neglected, and even killed at the hands of a parent. It is your right and your duty as their parent to do all you can to get the facts out there and to protect them from any such harm.

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Midvale 84047 Salt Lake Co. UT chat with divorce lawyer

The Realities Of A Divorce, Is It Worth It?

utah divorce debt laws

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Nowadays one can find free divorce records, especially records that date far back. If you are looking for records that date back as far as the early 1900's you will be able to obtain these records on websites such as Ancestry.com and RootsWeb.com. However, this can be a challenging task as divorce was not a common factor way back then.

In addition there many libraries that have local history rooms and vital records are kept their dating back centuries. One can also obtain such documents and records at your local county or state government building. If you are seeking any recent records then you can obtain these for no cost online or at your local county office.

Divorce records are needed for various reasons. If you are getting married once again, you will need your previous divorce paper before you will be issued with a marriage license. These particular records are on public display and are available to whoever needs a record. Some records can be obtained free and other need to be paid for. The cost will depend on which state you reside in and which state you want a record from.

For example the state of California charges $13 and New York City $10, and each state has its own cost for copies of public records. One of the most helpful resources when looking for vital records is the internet. One can go directly to the National Center for Health Statistics and obtain any information you require such as death and birth certificates, to marriage certificates and divorce documents from any state.

There are hundreds of other helpful websites such as Akiba.com and SearchSystems.com as well as many others. These sites can help you obtain the documentation you need easily and efficiently. Yes they will charge a small fee and may be slightly more than the vital records department. However, it is worth it in the long run. If all the above fail you can then get a private investigator to do a search for you, as they have access to divorce records that are not available. This option is rather costly. This process is guaranteed success or no payment.

Most divorce records are not confidential material making it legal to obtain a copy as well as do some research on this type of document. All you need is a computer and internet access and you can find the information you are looking for, although not 100% guaranteed.

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Magna 84044 Salt Lake Co. UT child custody attorney free consultation

In a Divorce, a Home Short Sale Can Be the Answer

utah divorce schedule

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Follow these guidelines to make the transition of divorce and the process of family restructuring and rebuilding easier for you and your children.

1. If you have not done so already, call a truce with your Ex. (Note: Your Ex does not have to take the same action.) Divorced parents can succeed at co-parenting. That success may not begin with harmony but, at a minimum, a ceasefire is necessary.

2. You are stuck with each other forever. One day, you will be Grandma and Grandpa to the same babies. And when these babies are grown they will repeat the stories that they heard about Grandma and Grandpa. This will be your legacy. How do you want to be depicted?

3. Divorce creates a breakdown of trust and communication. Accept this and work towards rebuilding trust and communication with the other parent, even if it feels like you are doing all of the work. And, be patient, emotional wounds need time to heal.

4. Establish a business relationship with your former spouse. The business is the co-parenting of your children. Business relationships are based on mutual gain. Emotional attachments and expectations don't work in business. Instead, in a successful business communication is up-front and direct, appointments are scheduled, meetings take place, agendas are provided, discussions focus on the business at hand, everyone is polite, formal courtesies are observed, and agreements are explicit, clear, and written. You do not need to like the people you do business with but you do need to put negative feelings aside in order to conduct business. Relating in a business-like way with your former spouse may feel strange and awkward at first so if you catch yourself behaving in an unbusiness-like way, end the conversation and continue the discussion at another time.

5. There are at least two versions to every story. Your child may attempt to slant the facts in a way that gives you what she thinks you want to hear. So give the other parent the benefit of the doubt when your child reports on extraordinary discipline and/or rewards.

6. Do not suggest possible plans or make arrangements directly with pre-adolescent children. And, always confirm any arrangements you have discussed with an older child with the other parent ASAP.

7. The transition between Mom's house and Dad's house is often difficult. Be sure to have your children clean, fed, ready to go, and in possession of all of their paraphernalia when its time to make the switch. Better yet, if possible avoid the dreaded switch by structuring your time sharing so that weekends start Friday after school and end with school drop-off on Monday morning.

8. Do not screen calls from the other parent or limit telephone contact between your child and the other parent. Instead, ensure that your child is available to speak to the other parent when s/he is on the telephone.

9. Do not discuss the divorce, finances, or other adult subjects with your children. Likewise, avoid saying anything negative about other parent and his/her family and friends to your children.

10. Children are always listening - especially when you think they're not. So, avoid discussions regarding the divorce, finances, the other parent, and other adult subjects when your children are within earshot.

11. Avoid using body language, facial expressions or other subtleties to express negative thoughts and emotions about the other parent. Your child can read you!

12. You can discuss your feelings with your children to the extent that they can understand them. But, if you let your child know that you are terrified of the future, your child will be terrified too. Instead, keep a balanced emotional perspective that focuses on the difference between feelings and facts.

13. Do not use your child as a courier for messages or money.

14. Support your child's right to visit their grandparents and extended family. Children benefit from knowing their roots and heritage. And, children love tradition. Extended family provides children with a sense of consistency, connection, and identity - especially during divorce. Remember neither extended family is better or worse - they are just different.

15. Avoid the urge to question your child or press him for information regarding the details of your co-parents personal or professional life.

16. Each parent must establish and maintain his or her own relationship with the children. Neither of you should act as a mediator between the children and the other parent. And, neither of you should act as the defense attorney, presenting a child's case to the other parent.

17. Be on time for pick-ups and drop-offs. Do not enter the other parent's home unless you are invited in.

18. Your child's relationship with his parents will influence his relationships for the rest of his life. Never put your child in a position where he has to choose between his parents or decide where his familial allegiances lie. Instead, allow him to love both parents without fear of angering or hurting the other.

19. Do not take it personally if your teenager prefers to be with his/her friends. Don't push, but remain available. If you feel rejected and back-off, your teen may feel rejected in return.

20. Expect that your children may feel confused, guilty, sad and/or abandoned in response to the divorce. Acknowledge their feelings as normal and remind them that even though the family is undergoing a major change, you and their Dad/Mom will always be their parents.

21. Even if the other parent disappoints your child or fails to honor a time commitment, you will tell the child that in spite of this error the other parent loves the child very much.

22. If your kids want to talk, shut-up and listen.

23. Keep your children informed about the day-to-day details of their lives and your separation/divorce in a way that they can understand.

24. Maintain as many security anchors (continuation of relationships, rituals, and the environment) as possible.

25. Don't overindulge your children out of guilt or in an attempt to "buy" them. Children want to stay up late but they need rest. Children want candy but they need vegetables. Children express financial wants but they have emotional needs. Give your children a small amount of what they want and a lot of what they need.

26. Remember no one is all bad or all good. Be honest (with yourself) about your ex's and your own strengths and weaknesses.

27. Be consistent in how you discipline your children. Set boundaries, giving them freedom within a limited area, and enforced rules outside of the "corral."

28. Avoid giving mixed messages or false hopes of reunification.

29. Remember that schedules will have to change from time to time to accommodate circumstances and your child's development. If you need to change the schedule notify your co-parent ASAP. When your co-parent needs to change the schedule show a relaxed flexibility and go with the flow.

30. Share good memories, but do not live in the past.

31. Consider occasionally separating your children in order to give each parent some individual time with each child.

32. Introduce your child to neighborhood children that she can play with at her second home.

33. Consider holding monthly family meetings, with a rotating chair, to discuss chores, problems, schedules, plans and challenges.

34. Coordinate with your co-parent so that school events, functions and activities are covered. Who will buy the school pictures? Who will handle field trips? Who will work the fund-raiser? Who will work on the science project? Who will buy the school supplies? Who will handle the teacher's gift?

35. Don't forget old family traditions and rituals - practice them and create new ones.

36. Be willing to separate your needs from the needs of your children and make their needs the priority.

37. Keep parenting issues separate from money issues.

38. If possible, tell your children about the pending separation together before one parent leaves. Plan a transition time if you can.

39. Remember to tell your children:
(a) Your father/mother and I made the choice to divorce because we thought it would be best for everyone.
(b) Both your father/mother and I love you and will always love you. The love that a parent has for a child never ends.
(c) Your mother/father and I are working together to make sure we take care of you.
(d) Your mother/father and I each have a special relationship with you. You can love us both and never feel that it means choosing between us, just like each of us loves you and your brother/sister.

40. Ensure that boy/girlfriends and potential step-parents go slow, stay out of the divorce, don't interfere in a child's relationship with either of his natural parents, and do not encourage the child to call them Mom or Dad.

41. Children, of any age, may be hesitant to spend time with a parent for a variety of reasons. Both parents should encourage the child to go with the other parent.

42. If you are not united it will confuse your child and confirm to him that he can manipulate you.

43. Make sure that your child's friends' parents know your co-parent and know that they can trust him/her with their child.

44. If you are a long-distance parent:
(a) Remember that your child is a digital native. On the other hand, depending on your age, you may be a digital immigrant. Use your child's advanced knowledge of technology to keep you connected.
(b) Watch TV together. Let your child know that you will be watching her favorite show and will be ready to talk about it.
(c) Give your child pre-addressed, stamped manila envelopes so that he can send you schoolwork and other paperwork.
(d) Make audio and video recordings for each other. Nothing to say? Record yourself reading a book and mail the book and the recording to your child.
(e) Remember small events. Send cards, pictures and letters for Halloween, Valentine's Day, The 4th of July, etc.
(f) Set up web cams on your computer and your kids' computers. Use video mail and YouTube to connect.
(g) Use My-space, Facebook, and Twitter to stay in touch, if you can do so privately and safely.
(h) Make sure that your kids have cell phones with your number programmed in. Use text messages and photos to stay in touch throughout the day.
(i) Keep up with schoolwork. Send teachers pre-addressed, stamped manila envelopes so that it's easy to send you updates. If you hear nothing be sure to initiate communications with teachers by telephone and email.

45. Befriend other divorced families that have been successful in the transition and use them as mentors.

46. Divorce is not an event, it is a process. Allow yourself, your ex-spouse and your children at least two years for readjustment.

47. Divorce in itself will not destroy your children. It is your reaction to the divorce that has the power to destroy their coping mechanisms. On-going conflict and emotionally unavailable parents who have regressed into boy/girl crazy adolescents are the real culprits.

48. Don't use your children to fill your need for companionship. If you don't have one, GET A LIFE!! This is crucial to your (and your child's) recovery from divorce. Seek out support from friends, family, support groups, a divorce coach. Consider entering into therapy with a licensed mental health professional. Consider joining Parents-Without-Partners, Co-dependent's Anonymous or a Church group for divorced/widowed persons.

49. Dissolving a marriage doesn't mean the dissolution of the family or your parenting obligations. In fact, while a family is undergoing the restructuring process the children need strong and caring parents more then ever. If you and/or your ex are too emotionally drained to be those parents find temporary substitutes who can give your kids what they need.

50. Every child needs at least one loving, stable parent. It is YOUR responsibility to be that parent. And, if your child is lucky enough to have an additional parent - a loving step-parent, rejoice - because no child can have too many people love him.

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Draper 84020 Salt Lake Co. UT adoption attorneys near me

What to Do for Checking Divorce Records Online

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The number of divorces has trebled over the past half century and is continuing to rise. The most recent figures from the Office for National Statistics reveal there were 313,600 marriages and 167,100 divorces in the UK during 2004, up from 305,900 marriages and 154,600 divorces in 2000. However, the fallout particularly on the financial side can be felt for years afterwards if the process is not managed properly from the outset.

The emotional aspects of separation can be difficult enough without having to address the minutiae of budgets, pensions, savings and investments. But it is vital to dedicate time to sorting out the financial details and seek professional advice or you could end up paying a heavier than expected price for the split.

People are planning for their divorces now both before and during their marriage and wealth protection is a whole new issue that needs to be considered.

This trend could be partly apportioned to last years high-profile litigations, known as the Miller and McFarlane cases, which redefined the concept of compensation where wives gave up good earning careers to have children and deal with the domestic side of the family.

In particular, the Miller case also demonstrated that even where a marriage did not last very long, this does not necessarily affect the principle of equal division of matrimonial assets.

Before potential financial settlements can be discussed, anyone considering filing for divorce needs to work out how much the divorce process itself will cost.

Any action will obviously depend on the individual circumstances of the case, but there are some general themes to bear in mind. The earlier you plan for a possible divorce the better. Taken to extremes, cynics - often including those who have been married and divorced before - argue that a pre-nuptial agreement is worth considering. While pre-nuptial agreements are not binding under British law, they are increasingly being given greater priority in court, after the Miller and McFarlane cases.

Even so, the vast majority of couples do not consider pre-nuptial contracts. For those who find themselves sadly overtaken by events it is important to build up a record of your partner's finances.

For couples with joint bank accounts or credit cards, both parties are jointly and severally liable for any outstanding debts. That means there is no splitting of the debt between couples on divorce and lenders reserve their legal right to pursue either or both parties for the entire debt, regardless of what the divorced couple may view as their share.

Banks can also freeze an account on the request of either party if there is a dispute. But if an account is not frozen, then the account's normal terms and conditions apply. For example, that means one partner can withdraw funds without the other's permission.

Any other action, such as changing the account to another type of account, can only be taken with the written agreement of both parties.

Two people are not jointly responsible for debts taken out in individual names just because they are married. The marriage has nothing to do with it. So, your partner could have a £10,000 loan in his name and you are not liable for it, he is. It depends whether or not you took out the debt in joint names. This is an important distinction to make.

However, it could get messy if you are both named on a mortgage and the deeds of the property and your partner cannot afford to pay a loan in his name. The creditors can then apply for a charge on his share of the equity in the property.

For example, this might have nothing to do with the wife if it is a loan to the husband's business but the family home could still be at risk.

There have been several court cases in recent years where banks have sought to repossess homes where wives have signed agreements for loans to their husband's business but subsequently denied having understood the consequences.

Most people's second-most valuable asset is their pension fund. Usually, this will be in the husband's name and, often, a non-earning wife may have little or no pension fund of her own.

However, there are also cases where the wife has access to a final salary or defined-benefit pension which might be far more valuable than a husband's money purchase or defined-contribution scheme and so could substantially alter the division of assets. Anyone involved in a divorce should be aware of the three main options facing them if a private pension pot has been built up.

The first possible arrangement is known as offsetting, where couples agree one party keeps the pension while the other gets the house, usually as a home for children. Although this can cause problems in the future as the person with the house still needs something to live on when they retire. You sign away those pension rights at your peril. The second option is known as ear-marking, where the parties agree that the individual with the pension will pay a percentage of it to the other party on retirement. The problem here is that in the meantime the person with the pension still has control of it and so this may not work out to the advantage of the other party. The third option, called pension splitting, is where the person with the pension allocates a part of it to the former partner and those assets are then transferred into a pension in the former partner's name. In the majority of cases, could be the most attractive solution as it gives the person acquiring the pension control and they are not reliant on their spouse for those pensions rights.

You may get shared additional state pension if you divorce or have your marriage annulled after December 2000 or if your civil partnership ends.

Often women are still reliant upon their husbands to provide for them in retirement. However, in the case of a divorce this can often leave the ex-wife with little or no pension provision.

Both parties should get their financial house in order as soon as possible and avoid attempting to conceal any assets as the process is based on both parties making full disclosure of their assets and liabilities.

The number of divorces where family wealth was split half and half between husband and wife more than doubled in 2005, up to 63 per cent of cases, against 30 per cent in the previous year, according to forensic accountants Grant Thornton.

Any assets transferred between husband and wife in the tax year of separation are free of capital gains tax (CGT). So, while January is a popular time for people to file for divorce for emotional reasons, financially April 6 may prove a wiser choice.

If you separate on April 1, you only have a small window of a few days before the end of the tax year and realistically you are not going to get everything sorted in that time. People may decide to wait until April 6 so you can benefit from the whole of the tax year to move assets around without the tax implications.

If either party has brought assets to the marriage, it is important that records are kept as it is possible that those assets may be ring-fenced and excluded from the settlement.

But if filing for divorce is the only option, taking time to plan the split and filing for divorce at the start of the tax year instead may be your best financial move.

Basic planning

  • Gather information and keep records of your partner's financial income, gains and assets
  • Don't tell the bank of a dispute as they may freeze the account, leaving you with no money to fight your corner
  • Keep records of your expenditure, to prove your standard of living
  • Check whether you should be entitled to some of your partner's pension

If you would like to find out more about the services that we provide, please visit our website http://www.mfgsolicitors.com to arrange a meeting.

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North Salt Lake 84054 Davis Co. UT divorce lawyer questions

Family Law - Filing For a Divorce When Your Spouse Doesn't Want One

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You and your spouse have decided to get a divorce. But, what do you do now? Many people don't know what to do next. This how-to guide should serve this purpose for you and your spouse. It should help alleviate some of the stress and worry you face when going through a divorce in Utah.

There are many different reasons to get a divorce. The state of Utah has set forth its own specific laws concerning divorce. One important thing to consider is that there will never be a jury for any divorce case in Utah. The Utah Divorce Court allows a couple to get an official no-fault divorce. The grounds for a no-fault divorce could be as simple as irreconcilable differences. Utah state divorce laws cannot prevent a divorce if one spouse desires the divorce and one spouse does not.

The state of Utah also offers Divorce Education Classes. These classes offer divorce education for parents, as well as for children. Once you and your spouse have decided to get a divorce, you will need to fill out all appropriate paperwork. You can go to utcourts.gov to get the necessary paperwork. It is also extremely helpful to seek the assistance of a Divorce Lawyer in the state of Utah. These lawyers specialize in Utah divorce proceedings and are the best resource to help you fill out necessary paperwork and give legal counsel concerning your particular case. Utah also offers a computer program, Quick Court, which is an easy way to fill out the divorce application.

There is a cost associated with filing for divorce in the state of Utah. This fee is $310 for the first filing and $115 for a counterclaim. Of course, there will be additional fees according to which lawyer you decide upon.

Utah state law strongly encourages each couple seeking a divorce to settle decisions concerning the dividing of debt/assets, child custody and more between themselves. In most cases, the couple and their lawyers will draw up an agreement. Mediators are also used to help draft resolutions between the two parties. Any agreement reached in mediation or otherwise will be sanctioned by the Utah state court.

In some instances, a couple cannot reach an agreement outside of court. The court will make the decision for them in these situations. Specialized divorce commissioners will sometimes hear the dispute. If the dispute goes to trial, the judge will hear it and make the final decision.

After all of your paperwork has been filled out and submitted, you will need to appear before the judge. These appearances may not require you to be in attendance physically, depending on your particular circumstances.

Obtaining a divorce can be a stressful time for you, your spouse and your children (if any). Choosing the right Utah Divorce attorney can make this time as stress-free as possible. This how-to guide should also help you understand the process of getting a divorce in the state of Utah.

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Layton 84041 Davis Co. UT divorce lawyer help

Should You Get a Divorce Lawyer?

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A divorce is always a hard decision to make whether the husband and wife were together for only a short time or for long years. Not only does it involve emotional distress but division of conjugal properties as well.

When couples decide on who should get this or that conjugal property which they acquired as husband and wife, legal documents known as deed are necessary. These documents are crucial to legally transfer a certain property from one person to another. One vital form is called the quit claim deed.

A quit claim deed is referred to as such because it quits or ceases a person's claim or interest on a real estate property and passes it to another person. There is no guarantee, though, when it concerns the rights of the person receiving the property.

Divorce situations

A divorce is just one of several situations where a quit claim deed proves necessary. An example would be a husband foregoing interest in the property that his wife owns. In this situation, the husband who quits claim on the property is referred to as the grantor while the wife who owns the property is called the grantee. Whatever risks involved here especially since there's no warranty on the title will be taken care of by the wife.

A quit claim deed is also needed if a married person who solely owns a property, which he or she bought prior to getting married, sells the property concerned to a third party. Executing a quit claim deed, in this instance, serves to ensure that the other spouse no longer has any interest to reclaim the property later on. With the absence of this deed, it is possible that the spouse could come back to claim ownership of the property.

In another divorce case, one spouse say, the wife, may want to stay in the conjugal home. The wife then needs to ask for a quit claim deed from her husband so she could claim sole interest in the residential property.

Names and mortgage

A quit claim deed should show the legal names of the parties involved in the transaction. In the case of divorced couples, the deed should bear the husband and wife's legal names or the same names that appear in their divorce decree. However, should both spouses wish to live in separate homes and would like to retain ownership of their conjugal property, this document will not be necessary.

As for mortgage concerns, a quit claim deed does not release the person quitting claim from his mortgage obligations. However, to remove the person who quits claim from the mortgage, the mortgage has to be refinanced through the name of the grantee or the person to whom the interest has been transferred.

In a divorce, a spouse can only claim ownership of the property and mortgage by refinancing the mortgage after the home has been conveyed to him or her. It is important to note, though, that many lenders will only allow a divorced individual to refinance a property if he or she has been on title to the said property for at least one year.

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Kaysville 84037 Davis Co. UT adoption lawyer near me

Child Custody Cases and Visitation

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A divorce is always a hard decision to make whether the husband and wife were together for only a short time or for long years. Not only does it involve emotional distress but division of conjugal properties as well.

When couples decide on who should get this or that conjugal property which they acquired as husband and wife, legal documents known as deed are necessary. These documents are crucial to legally transfer a certain property from one person to another. One vital form is called the quit claim deed.

A quit claim deed is referred to as such because it quits or ceases a person's claim or interest on a real estate property and passes it to another person. There is no guarantee, though, when it concerns the rights of the person receiving the property.

Divorce situations

A divorce is just one of several situations where a quit claim deed proves necessary. An example would be a husband foregoing interest in the property that his wife owns. In this situation, the husband who quits claim on the property is referred to as the grantor while the wife who owns the property is called the grantee. Whatever risks involved here especially since there's no warranty on the title will be taken care of by the wife.

A quit claim deed is also needed if a married person who solely owns a property, which he or she bought prior to getting married, sells the property concerned to a third party. Executing a quit claim deed, in this instance, serves to ensure that the other spouse no longer has any interest to reclaim the property later on. With the absence of this deed, it is possible that the spouse could come back to claim ownership of the property.

In another divorce case, one spouse say, the wife, may want to stay in the conjugal home. The wife then needs to ask for a quit claim deed from her husband so she could claim sole interest in the residential property.

Names and mortgage

A quit claim deed should show the legal names of the parties involved in the transaction. In the case of divorced couples, the deed should bear the husband and wife's legal names or the same names that appear in their divorce decree. However, should both spouses wish to live in separate homes and would like to retain ownership of their conjugal property, this document will not be necessary.

As for mortgage concerns, a quit claim deed does not release the person quitting claim from his mortgage obligations. However, to remove the person who quits claim from the mortgage, the mortgage has to be refinanced through the name of the grantee or the person to whom the interest has been transferred.

In a divorce, a spouse can only claim ownership of the property and mortgage by refinancing the mortgage after the home has been conveyed to him or her. It is important to note, though, that many lenders will only allow a divorced individual to refinance a property if he or she has been on title to the said property for at least one year.

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Farmington 84025 Davis Co. UT divorce lawyer for cheap

Using A Quit Claim Deed In A Divorce

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Are you facing a situation in which your wife wants a divorce but you don't? If this is the case, it is important for you to know what steps you can take in order to try and salvage your marriage. First of all, I want you to know that it is completely possible! Please allow me to share with you some basic tips and pointers to use in an effort to bring your wife back to the table and work towards the possibility of reconciliation.

Perhaps the most important step you can take in an effort to counter the situation in which your wife wants a divorce (but you don't) is to accept responsibility for the mistakes that you have made in the marriage. The reality is that in any marriage which has conflict, there is blame for the situation that can be placed on both sides. Therefore, you need to take significant and obvious actions to demonstrate to your wife that you truly are sorry for the mistakes that you have made that have contributed to your marriage problems.

Along these same lines, when it comes to your wife wanting a divorce and you not, you will want to be sure that you are honest and up front with your spouse. In regard to trying to persuade your wife not to pursue a divorce, you really do need to make her feel that you are being honest across the board and on all levels.

In dealing with a difficult situation like this, you may also want to consider obtaining professional assistance. For example, you may be interested in visiting with a marriage counselor. Ideally, your wife would attend such a session with you. However, even if she declines to do, it can be beneficial to you to visit with a marriage counselor regardless.

Another option is to see an online marriage counselor. While you need to be careful of scams, there are some sites that offer professional online marriage counseling services.

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Clearfield 84015 Davis Co. UT divorce lawyer questions

Public Records - Divorce

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Divorce - How to rebuild your life - how to file for divorce

Divorce should be considered as a last resort to fix a relationship problem. This type of procedure is very serious and it has to be a decision that is well thought out before attempting to start the process. You need to make sure that you are ready for this type of drastic measure in order to help your relationship get better.

When you are filing for divorce, you will want to notify the court that you are going to proceed with the dissolution of your marriage. This is something that means you are not able to work the marriage out any more and you want to put it to an end. You will file a summons and petition the court in your county. Ultimately it is then in the courts hands and you will have to wait to hear when the actual hearing will be to determine the next step.

Before you decide to file for divorce, you will want to choose the proper state and county to file your papers. In order to start your divorce proceedings, you will want to make sure that you are going to the right place first. You must make sure that the divorce is occurring in the county where you or your spouse lives.

You must make sure that you are ready for the long haul in a divorce. You will find that the proceedings will go on until a conclusion is reached about all of the issues that are brought up. This can take a short time or a longer period of time depending on the issues and what each party is ready to do about it. There are going to be many different alternatives in a divorce proceeding. You will want to make sure that you are open minded and going in to the process with good intentions at the same time.

You may have to go to court in order to figure out what is best for you and you family. You may have to talk to a judge and let them decide for you if you are not able to come to a resolution together. The judge will take into consideration everything that is said so that he can make the best decision for everyone that is involved in the proceedings. You may want to make sure that you are ready for this type of outcome to happen.

You will probably find it to be necessary to hire and attorney to take care of the proceedings in your divorce. You will want to make sure that you are represented well so that you are not putting yourself at risk for coming up short in the end. You want have your message sent to the courts loud and clear so that you are able to make sure that your side of the story is heard. There are many factors that have to be decided in a divorce hearing and you want to do your best to have it ruled in your favor.

The last thing that you should want to do is make the divorce a messy one. You should not want to make it hard for the other person just for spite. This is not a good idea because all it will do is add more stress on you and may even hurt your case. You want to make sure that you are doing what you can to make this procedure go as quickly and fairly as you can. That would be best for everyone involved including you and the family around you.

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How to Find Divorce Records Online - How to Confirm If Someone Is Divorced

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Are You Prepared For Your Child Custody Hearing?

The court plays a significant role in determining what is in the 'best interests' of your child. The court considers all aspects including physical, educational, spiritual, emotional as well as preferential requirements of a child, so it makes a study of homes of both parents, along with schools, location, neighborhoods and facilities, before making a decision on custody.

Although the courts have the best interests in mind, there can't be anyone more important in making the best decision for their children than parents. Parents should try and settle their Child Custody issues outside the courts. A custody decision arrived on your own with two agreeing parents is more desirable than the one which is disputed a determined by the court.

Preparing for the Child Custody trial, you should possess certain documents and information related to your children, which will help determine the best interests of your child. It is better if you maintained a record of your children's life about events which affect them, like visiting with the other parent, grandparents, doctor's appointment, school activities, family and religious activities, medical appointments and counseling dates, etc. You should support your position, by keeping notes with you regarding,

1) Parent's Home: This factors determines whether you can provide good surroundings and adequate shelter for your children, the size of the house, neighborhood, availability of help and babysitters, hospitals, bathrooms, bedrooms, etc. play a significant role in determining the best one for the child. Though not an important point, it does help make a good impression.

2) New Relationships: This is a comparatively irrelevant factor in determining Child Custody cases, the court will consider this factor if only the relationship makes any impact on the child's well being. If the new relationship does not play any important relationship then this point will not be relevant to determination of Child custody.

3) Status Quo: It is an important factor in determining custody case, if a child's parents reside in different districts, it in unlikely that the court will order to change the residence during the academic year, especially if the child is being properly brought up. If you want a change in status quo, you will be required to furnish a strong reason for this. A good example would be an issue with the current conditions unsafe for the child.

4) Child's Preference: A child's preference is not considered by the court since the court will not give a child to make a decision for himself, however this might not be the case if the child happens to be a teenager and possess enough power to think and evaluate position.

5) Parent's Availability: Full time parenting has an advantage over working full time for supporting oneself. However, the court might not deter from giving you the custody only because you need to work to support yourself and your child.

These are just a few things to consider while preparing for your Child Custody case.

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Divorce Mediation vs Traditional Divorce

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Follow these guidelines to make the transition of divorce and the process of family restructuring and rebuilding easier for you and your children.

1. If you have not done so already, call a truce with your Ex. (Note: Your Ex does not have to take the same action.) Divorced parents can succeed at co-parenting. That success may not begin with harmony but, at a minimum, a ceasefire is necessary.

2. You are stuck with each other forever. One day, you will be Grandma and Grandpa to the same babies. And when these babies are grown they will repeat the stories that they heard about Grandma and Grandpa. This will be your legacy. How do you want to be depicted?

3. Divorce creates a breakdown of trust and communication. Accept this and work towards rebuilding trust and communication with the other parent, even if it feels like you are doing all of the work. And, be patient, emotional wounds need time to heal.

4. Establish a business relationship with your former spouse. The business is the co-parenting of your children. Business relationships are based on mutual gain. Emotional attachments and expectations don't work in business. Instead, in a successful business communication is up-front and direct, appointments are scheduled, meetings take place, agendas are provided, discussions focus on the business at hand, everyone is polite, formal courtesies are observed, and agreements are explicit, clear, and written. You do not need to like the people you do business with but you do need to put negative feelings aside in order to conduct business. Relating in a business-like way with your former spouse may feel strange and awkward at first so if you catch yourself behaving in an unbusiness-like way, end the conversation and continue the discussion at another time.

5. There are at least two versions to every story. Your child may attempt to slant the facts in a way that gives you what she thinks you want to hear. So give the other parent the benefit of the doubt when your child reports on extraordinary discipline and/or rewards.

6. Do not suggest possible plans or make arrangements directly with pre-adolescent children. And, always confirm any arrangements you have discussed with an older child with the other parent ASAP.

7. The transition between Mom's house and Dad's house is often difficult. Be sure to have your children clean, fed, ready to go, and in possession of all of their paraphernalia when its time to make the switch. Better yet, if possible avoid the dreaded switch by structuring your time sharing so that weekends start Friday after school and end with school drop-off on Monday morning.

8. Do not screen calls from the other parent or limit telephone contact between your child and the other parent. Instead, ensure that your child is available to speak to the other parent when s/he is on the telephone.

9. Do not discuss the divorce, finances, or other adult subjects with your children. Likewise, avoid saying anything negative about other parent and his/her family and friends to your children.

10. Children are always listening - especially when you think they're not. So, avoid discussions regarding the divorce, finances, the other parent, and other adult subjects when your children are within earshot.

11. Avoid using body language, facial expressions or other subtleties to express negative thoughts and emotions about the other parent. Your child can read you!

12. You can discuss your feelings with your children to the extent that they can understand them. But, if you let your child know that you are terrified of the future, your child will be terrified too. Instead, keep a balanced emotional perspective that focuses on the difference between feelings and facts.

13. Do not use your child as a courier for messages or money.

14. Support your child's right to visit their grandparents and extended family. Children benefit from knowing their roots and heritage. And, children love tradition. Extended family provides children with a sense of consistency, connection, and identity - especially during divorce. Remember neither extended family is better or worse - they are just different.

15. Avoid the urge to question your child or press him for information regarding the details of your co-parents personal or professional life.

16. Each parent must establish and maintain his or her own relationship with the children. Neither of you should act as a mediator between the children and the other parent. And, neither of you should act as the defense attorney, presenting a child's case to the other parent.

17. Be on time for pick-ups and drop-offs. Do not enter the other parent's home unless you are invited in.

18. Your child's relationship with his parents will influence his relationships for the rest of his life. Never put your child in a position where he has to choose between his parents or decide where his familial allegiances lie. Instead, allow him to love both parents without fear of angering or hurting the other.

19. Do not take it personally if your teenager prefers to be with his/her friends. Don't push, but remain available. If you feel rejected and back-off, your teen may feel rejected in return.

20. Expect that your children may feel confused, guilty, sad and/or abandoned in response to the divorce. Acknowledge their feelings as normal and remind them that even though the family is undergoing a major change, you and their Dad/Mom will always be their parents.

21. Even if the other parent disappoints your child or fails to honor a time commitment, you will tell the child that in spite of this error the other parent loves the child very much.

22. If your kids want to talk, shut-up and listen.

23. Keep your children informed about the day-to-day details of their lives and your separation/divorce in a way that they can understand.

24. Maintain as many security anchors (continuation of relationships, rituals, and the environment) as possible.

25. Don't overindulge your children out of guilt or in an attempt to "buy" them. Children want to stay up late but they need rest. Children want candy but they need vegetables. Children express financial wants but they have emotional needs. Give your children a small amount of what they want and a lot of what they need.

26. Remember no one is all bad or all good. Be honest (with yourself) about your ex's and your own strengths and weaknesses.

27. Be consistent in how you discipline your children. Set boundaries, giving them freedom within a limited area, and enforced rules outside of the "corral."

28. Avoid giving mixed messages or false hopes of reunification.

29. Remember that schedules will have to change from time to time to accommodate circumstances and your child's development. If you need to change the schedule notify your co-parent ASAP. When your co-parent needs to change the schedule show a relaxed flexibility and go with the flow.

30. Share good memories, but do not live in the past.

31. Consider occasionally separating your children in order to give each parent some individual time with each child.

32. Introduce your child to neighborhood children that she can play with at her second home.

33. Consider holding monthly family meetings, with a rotating chair, to discuss chores, problems, schedules, plans and challenges.

34. Coordinate with your co-parent so that school events, functions and activities are covered. Who will buy the school pictures? Who will handle field trips? Who will work the fund-raiser? Who will work on the science project? Who will buy the school supplies? Who will handle the teacher's gift?

35. Don't forget old family traditions and rituals - practice them and create new ones.

36. Be willing to separate your needs from the needs of your children and make their needs the priority.

37. Keep parenting issues separate from money issues.

38. If possible, tell your children about the pending separation together before one parent leaves. Plan a transition time if you can.

39. Remember to tell your children:
(a) Your father/mother and I made the choice to divorce because we thought it would be best for everyone.
(b) Both your father/mother and I love you and will always love you. The love that a parent has for a child never ends.
(c) Your mother/father and I are working together to make sure we take care of you.
(d) Your mother/father and I each have a special relationship with you. You can love us both and never feel that it means choosing between us, just like each of us loves you and your brother/sister.

40. Ensure that boy/girlfriends and potential step-parents go slow, stay out of the divorce, don't interfere in a child's relationship with either of his natural parents, and do not encourage the child to call them Mom or Dad.

41. Children, of any age, may be hesitant to spend time with a parent for a variety of reasons. Both parents should encourage the child to go with the other parent.

42. If you are not united it will confuse your child and confirm to him that he can manipulate you.

43. Make sure that your child's friends' parents know your co-parent and know that they can trust him/her with their child.

44. If you are a long-distance parent:
(a) Remember that your child is a digital native. On the other hand, depending on your age, you may be a digital immigrant. Use your child's advanced knowledge of technology to keep you connected.
(b) Watch TV together. Let your child know that you will be watching her favorite show and will be ready to talk about it.
(c) Give your child pre-addressed, stamped manila envelopes so that he can send you schoolwork and other paperwork.
(d) Make audio and video recordings for each other. Nothing to say? Record yourself reading a book and mail the book and the recording to your child.
(e) Remember small events. Send cards, pictures and letters for Halloween, Valentine's Day, The 4th of July, etc.
(f) Set up web cams on your computer and your kids' computers. Use video mail and YouTube to connect.
(g) Use My-space, Facebook, and Twitter to stay in touch, if you can do so privately and safely.
(h) Make sure that your kids have cell phones with your number programmed in. Use text messages and photos to stay in touch throughout the day.
(i) Keep up with schoolwork. Send teachers pre-addressed, stamped manila envelopes so that it's easy to send you updates. If you hear nothing be sure to initiate communications with teachers by telephone and email.

45. Befriend other divorced families that have been successful in the transition and use them as mentors.

46. Divorce is not an event, it is a process. Allow yourself, your ex-spouse and your children at least two years for readjustment.

47. Divorce in itself will not destroy your children. It is your reaction to the divorce that has the power to destroy their coping mechanisms. On-going conflict and emotionally unavailable parents who have regressed into boy/girl crazy adolescents are the real culprits.

48. Don't use your children to fill your need for companionship. If you don't have one, GET A LIFE!! This is crucial to your (and your child's) recovery from divorce. Seek out support from friends, family, support groups, a divorce coach. Consider entering into therapy with a licensed mental health professional. Consider joining Parents-Without-Partners, Co-dependent's Anonymous or a Church group for divorced/widowed persons.

49. Dissolving a marriage doesn't mean the dissolution of the family or your parenting obligations. In fact, while a family is undergoing the restructuring process the children need strong and caring parents more then ever. If you and/or your ex are too emotionally drained to be those parents find temporary substitutes who can give your kids what they need.

50. Every child needs at least one loving, stable parent. It is YOUR responsibility to be that parent. And, if your child is lucky enough to have an additional parent - a loving step-parent, rejoice - because no child can have too many people love him.

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Boulder Utah divorce law offices

Family Law - Filing For a Divorce When Your Spouse Doesn't Want One

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If you, your spouse, or both of you are in the military and have decided to divorce, you should use the services of military divorce lawyers. The reason is that a military divorce can be a very complicated legal matter that requires the knowledge of this type of lawyer. Although this type of divorce will follow the same procedures as a regular civilian divorce there are some intricacies that are different. These include retirement and military benefits, living arrangements that have to be dealt with separately, and the serving of divorce papers. Because civilian divorce lawyers do not understand the military laws that surround a military divorce is why you would need such a lawyer.

The military uses the same legal system as the civilian divorce proceeding do so there are no military judges or military divorce courts. There is one rule that is different in military divorces that is not in civilian divorces. Across the United States in most jurisdictions, the serving of divorce papers have to be made in person and within a certain amount of time but it is different with a military divorce. There are laws that will protect the member of the military if there is an unusual delay in the proceeding because they are not able to be served the papers or to attend the proceedings because of active duty.

To become such a lawyer you should know the particulars of all applicable federal and state laws that could apply to any divorce. State laws govern most divorces but with military divorces this is not entirely true. In regards to pensions, custody of children, military benefits, retirement, and child support or alimony there are some federal laws that will trump state laws. In rare cases, there are some portions of the hearing that may need to be heard by federal judges. If one or both members involved in the divorce are stationed overseas, there could be additional issues that pop up.

For military lawyers they do not need to be a member of any branch of the military. They are lawyers that specialize in divorce, specifically military divorce. To become a military lawyer you need to have a bachelor's degree, a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) from a law school that is accredited, and pass the Bar Association examination. You will also need experience working as a divorce attorney or have a job working with a law firm that specializes in divorce. The last thing you need is an understanding of all issues that are involved with a military divorce.
To be admitted to a good law school you have to have had a high grade point average throughout your bachelor degree program and pass the admissions test

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